Today is Festivus. In honor of this sacred holiday, I would like to air some grievances.
- Attention Avatar fans: What is with all this Avatar hype? That movie looks stupid. Stop talking about how "visually stunning" it is. I just saw something on CNN.com that said, "Avatar:" Bigger than "Star Wars"? Yuck.
- Attention Trader Joe's: Why don't you sell Tofurky? Where am I supposed to get my Tofurky? I can't afford to go to Whole Foods. Thanks for nothing, Trader Joe's.
- Attention my brother: There is something called empathy. Not everything is about you.
- Attention those two women at work who always hit reply all to every e-mail ON PURPOSE because you want to make sure that everyone knows that you got the e-mail that we all got and that you said "Thank you" to the person who sent it: I don't care! Stop sending me your e-mails!!
- Attention people who post things like, "Praying for James and Bethany today" on Facebook prompting hundreds of people to worry about/wonder what is wrong with James and Bethany and then making us wait around forever until you feel like explaining what they need praying for, if you ever do explain it: Cut this out! What is wrong with James and Bethany?? Are they sick? Are they getting a divorce? Is it the baby? What is it? Either tell us or don't say anything!
And now... on to the feats of strength. Happy Festivus everyone!
