Mission Impossible V: Rogue Nation

I am re-watching all of the Mission Impossible films. Here are my thoughts on MI:5:

Why wasn't Jeremy Renner in Fallout? Does he die in this one? I like Brandt.

Oh, the Syndicate is back.

"Normally" That's not good!

Am I supposed to know who that blonde guy is?

The writer of this movie is also the director.

What? Are you kidding me with that pole thing? Did TC really do that stunt? That was cool.

The old I'm-fighting-in-handcuffs-so-I-choke-the-guy-I'm-fighting-with-the-handcuffs move.

He really outran all of those bullets.

That yellow dress looks so hard to walk in; it's too long. I would trip.

Luther retired?? Why? Also, then why is he back in Fallout?

I can hold my breath for 47 seconds :(

I like how he keeps things in his sock.

She saved him!

Oh.

LOL when he tries to jump over the hood of the car.

The motorcycles are the best part of this movie!

I didn't have a lot to say during most of the action stuff.

Poor Benji is the damsel in distress.

Wait, did they trap Ethan in a glass box earlier? I might not have been paying attention the whole time.

I think of these movies, the one I liked the most was the one with Paula Patton.

So in Fallout, Lane comes back, Ilsa comes back, and so does Alec Baldwin, but no Brandt? I know he wasn't busy fighting Thanos, right??

Mission Impossible IV Ghost Protocol

I am re-watching all of the Mission Impossible films and recording my thoughts here.

Mission Impossible IV: Ghost Protocol

Hey, it's Sawyer from LOST. What is he up to these days? And isn't this the blonde woman from James Bond? I'm gonna look on IMDB. Yes, it is her. From Spectre. Sawyer is on on TV show right now called Colony. OK.

This Dean Martin song was in Fallout (the video game!)

"I don't know what he's doing and for some reason I'm helping him." Benji should get a shirt that says this.

I mean, aren't these Russian prison guards getting killed? They are not bad guys are they?

Agent Carter. LOL.

OH! Jeremy Renner is in this one finally. I was hoping (SPOILERS for FALLOUT) that he would be in Fallout, but he wasn't. Why not? Does he die in this one? Is he in Rogue Nation? (I think he is) Also, why are Johnathan Rhys Meyers and Maggie Q not in this one? I liked them and they didn't die in III. :(

Does Josh Holloway come back or is he dead?

Now the credits are over - they were pretty long.

Yay! Benji passed the field exam! Good for Benji.

Is this really the Kremlin? it's beautiful. I checked IMDB... I guess most of it is Prague.

The secretary is cool.

As soon as they started shooting up the car with Jeremy Renner in it, this movie got good!

"Camels."

Where did they get these suits?

How is the glove that he dropped above him?

Can't people see him climbing that thing? I mean, from the outside or through the windows? Also, someone is going to notice all these broken windows, right? Also, why is it so easy to break these windows? That is dangerous.

I feel like a real French woman would not wear that ugly powder blue suit.

Oh, Renner twist! He's a spy.

Is that Max's friend with the long hair?

And now for the fancy dress party that is a required element of these films. Of course, Jane will have to be sexy to distract some guy.

Pluto and Uranus jokes.

Halfway through writing this screenplay did they just decide, "This is not going to work unless Renner is also a spy. Let's just make him a spy so he can do the magnet suit thing"?

Wait, isn't this basically the same plot as Avengers: Infinity War?

This parking lot scene is intense!

Luther! Why wasn't he in this whole movie?

Brought to you by Dos Equis.

Oh, she got bangs.

Is The Syndicate (and some drones) part of the next movie?

Mission Impossible III: Re-Watching Every Film

Twitter thought I was spamming by sending out my thoughts about re-watching all of the films in the Mission Impossible franchise, so I moved my tweets here:

Mission Impossible 3:

Don't leave your dog in the car - even with the windows rolled down #MissionImpossible3

Is Johnathan Rhys Meyers using an American accent? #MissionImpossible3
UPDATE: No, he is not! #MissionImpossible3

Did Laurence Fishburne just call himself fat? #MissionImpossible3

Benji! #MissionImpossible3

I want to play the part in the movie of a tech who is monitoring security camera footage when one goes out so I tap on the monitor. Then when it comes back on I'm all like, "No, it's OK." #MissionImpossible3

Is Luther scuba diving in the sewer? Also, where is Zhen? Oh, I see - she is getting sexy dressed for the benefit. Also, shirtless JRM #MissionImpossible3

Ugh - she has a chopstick in her hair #MissionImpossible3

The benefit is over and so far no one on the team is dead. So that's good. #MissionImpossible3

My account has been locked for some reason, so I''' finish my thoughts on #MissionImpossible3 on my website: myheartislikeawheel.blogspot.com

So from now on, I will be sending fewer tweets and posting my thoughts here (with fewer or no hashtags)

That orange foam was cool.

He still has the wine stain on his shirt. It feels like that happened forever ago.

What are they going to say on the news when they report on this bridge incident?

Oh. her brother IS Aaron Paul! I thought that was him.

That's their plan? To throw baseballs at them?

Was it his plan to just slide down that building?

Really? A "When I was little I had a cat" story? Now? I thought JRM was going to confess his love for When or something.

He doesn't seem "way too low"

Watch out! It's building security! And they are pissed.

Zhen got shot, but it's only in the shoulder, so it's cool.

Wow! He was really quick using that pen to unlock the handcuffs.

It's the now-classic Benji-tells-Ethan-to-go-north-for-three-quarters-of-a-mile-and-cross-a-bridge type scene. They do this in Fallout, too.

Oh! Way to go, Jules! She shot him.

Zhen and JRM didn't die, but do you think they will be back in the next one? I'm guessing not.

Wait, the song over the closing credits is by Kanye??

Mission Impossible II: Re-Wtaching Every Film

I'm re-wtaching all of the Mission Impossible movies. I WAS putting my thoughts on Twitter, but my account was suspended half way through MI3. Here are my tweets about MI2:

Mission Impossible 2:

#MissionImpossible2 long haired Tom Cruise. Here we go!

3 minutes and 28 seconds in and I'm already going to IMDB #MissionImpossible2

It's Ethan from #LOST #MissionImpossible2
UPDATE: Why is William Mapother listed as a special consultant in the credits? #MissionImpossible2
UPDATE UPDATE: Wait, he is Tom Cruise's cousin???

Was this movie made in 1999? I could tell from the khakis #MissionImpossible2 #RockClimbing #Khakis

This guy in the bathtub scene really has to change from his shiny white jacket to his shiny red jacket #MissionImpossible2

Tacky necklace #MissionImpossible2

The old action movie trope where there is a parade in a foreign country #MissionImpossible2

Is Anthony Hopkins trying to do an American Accent? I can't tell. Also, isn't Dougray Scott 6 feet tall? #MissionImpossible2

Like it's OK to ask baby Thandie Newton to sleep with that bad guy just because he is her ex-boyfriend #NotCool #MissionImpossible2

Wait, that guy is The Duke from Moulin Rouge?? #MissionImpossible2

Hot Take: This is not a good movie #MissionImpossible2

Wait, I'm confused #TooManyMasks #MissionImpossible2

I just Googled "daylight storage cells" and got a link to #MissionImpossible2 So #YeahThoseDontExist

That shoot out scene was classic John Woo #MissionImpossible2

What was that slo-mo flip kick about? #MissionImpossible2
UPDATE: There was another one in the scene with the birds #MissionImpossible2

Birds #JohnWoo #MissionImpossible2

Why did he throw that grenade? What was the purpose? #MissionImpossible2

I think these are the first #Motorcycles we've seen in the franchise #MissionImpossible2

Good thing he was wearing that leather jacket #fire #MissionImpossible2

Baby Thandie Newton doesn't die? Does she come back in #MissionImpossible3? #MissionImpossible2
UPDATE: She does not. #MissionImpossible3

Mission Impossible: Re-Watching Every Film

I am re-watching every Mission Impossible film. I WAS leaving comments for them on Twitter, but it seems that Twitter thinks I am spamming everyone with my MI thoughts, so I have moved them over here.

Mission Impossible 1:

OK. I'm going to watch all the #MissionImpossible movies.

This guy in the big coat is obviously Tom Cruise #MissionImpossible

Why do people always plan to steal things during a black tie event? #MissionImpossible

IMF stands for Impossible Mission Force #DidYouKnowThat #MissionImpossible

I like that half the team is made up of women #MissionImpossible

If that is his usual team then why does the video bother to explain their skills? #MissionImpossible

It's convenient that Ethan Hunt looks exactly like all the guys he has to pretend to look like #MissionImpossible

I love KST's hair #MissionImpossible

Did Jon Voight kill Emilio all while saying, "Cut the power, Jack"? That's cold #MissionImpossible

I like that the getaway driver is a woman #MissionImpossible

And now all the women are dead #MissionImpossible

Fish tanks #MissionImpossible

What's with all these POV shots? #MissionImpossible

Was $150,000 a lot of money in 1996? #MissionImpossible

What is the red soda this guy is drinking? #MissionImpossible

Claire's 90's style for the win. Black cord necklaces, leotards, brown scarf, red suit, etc. #MissionImpossible

"One. Two. Three. Toast. Toast." #MissionImpossible

Jean Reno is having a lot of problems holding him, but I'm guessing Ethan Hunt weighs like 135 #MissionImpossible

They did these magic tricks in #AntManAndTheWasp #MissionImpossible

I love how the file name for the NOC list is NOC_LIST #MissionImpossible

Pretty cheesy music cue when Ethan Hunt jumps on the helicopter #MissionImpossible

Does #MissionImpossible2 take place in Aruba? #MissionImpossible
UPDATE: It does not #MissionImpossible2

The 90's style electronic mix of the theme song over the closing credits #MissionImpossible

Where Are You in the Movie of Your Life (2017 Edition)

I have written about this site two other times (in 2013 and in 2010). You put in your birthdate and how old you think you will be when you die and it shows you a frame from a movie that is where you are now if you life was a movie. This is where I am in Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

Podcast of the Year

Since I didn't post much last year (only three posts all year and all of them about nail polish!) I decided to start off 2015 with a series of posts about my favorite things from last year (that I still enjoy this year)! I'm going to start with podcasts.

If you don't listen to any podcasts, you are missing out; especially if you have an iPhone. There is a podcast app that you can't delete on your phone and instead of hiding it in a folder with your compass and stock ticker, you should actually try using it.

This year was all about Serial, but I kind of gave up on it after the first episode (actually, I don't think I finished the first one). My go-to podcast has always been Hollywood Babble-On with Ralph Garman and Kevin Smith, but in the fall last year they had a long hiatus that caused me to look elsewhere. For a time, I listened to the Seinfeld podcast Seincast, but I haven't listened to it much lately. No, my new favorite is How Did This Get Made?

HDTGM has been around for years, but based on the title I always thought it was going to be about how they make, say, lightbulbs or something. Instead, it is about movies that are so bad they are good. If you ever had fun sitting around with your friends watching and making fun of a bad movie, then you will like this podcast. Hosts Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas (both from the FXX show The League) and June Diane Raphael choose about one movie a week to watch and discuss, often with a guest. The show is really fun to listen to, even if you have never seen the movie. In fact, I don't think I have ever found out what movie they are going to do, watched it, and THEN listened to the show. I'll have to try it, but I don't really want to buy a bad movie online!

One movie that they love over at HDGTM, which is "bad" but actually good is Crank and Crank 2 starring Jason Statham. Those two movies are going to air on Spike TV next week, so I am going to watch both of them and report back to you.

In case you want to start listening to HDTGM, here is the low down. You can sign up for it and start by listening to the next episode that comes out (they start with a mini episode where they announce the next movie and go over corrections and commissions from the last movie) then they do a podcast a few days later on the actual movie. You can also, however, go into the feed and listen to past movies. Search for a movie you like/hate/have seen or go with one of my recommendations (again, you do not actually need to watch the movie to enjoy the podcast). Here are a few that I think were really good:

Episode 50: Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2
What is funny about this one is how much they actually liked the last half of the movie! Be sure to listen to the mini episode afterwards when Paul goes over the corrections and omissions, too.

Episode 63: Fast and Furious 6
This is an example of a movie that they all really liked, which is usual for this show. Plus the guest is Adam Scott (who does NOT actually sing the theme song).

Episode 69: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles
This one (and episode about The Punisher) is interesting because they interview the writer of the movie and he gives an inside look into how movies are actually made, which is usually not what this podcast is actually about

I'll have to think some more about which other episodes I would recommend - I want to pick at least one live episode, but I'll have to think about it some more!

Here is an interview with Paul over at RogerEbert.com that gives more information about the show:

http://www.rogerebert.com/interviews/interview-paul-scheer-of-how-did-this-get-made

New Year Fitness Challenge

My sister posted this on Facebook and I think I'm going to try it. Who's in?

Wait, the squats START at 30?!

Update: Day three and so far I am doing well. The pushups are kind of tough, so I am doing them with my knees on the ground. I was kind of sore the first day, though!

2014 Year in Review

At this time of year I usually do a year in review post about the best of this blog. However, I guess I only posted twice this whole year and they were both about nail polish. So, I thought I would share my favorite nail polish brand of the year!

Essie polish is available in most drugstores (I get mine from Rite Aid) and costs $8-9 per bottle. I have 8 of them:

Most of them are pretty great, but I really like the reddish color called "e-nuf is e-nuf" which looks like this:

And the light purple called "go ginza:"

I have to say, though, that I tried using the light pink color called "ballet slippers" three different times and it was always too streaky. I'm giving up on that one. If you can do one very thin coat it makes an OK kind of transparent look, though.

Ombré Nails

I tried ombré nails from this Buzzfeed post:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/32-easy-nail-art-hacks-for-the-perfect-manicure

and it actually kind of worked.

I used Maybelline Color Show nail lacquer in Pink Shock and Porcelain Party.

Maybelline Color Show Nail Lacquer: Audacious Asphalt

I love the colors in this line and the price is right, but some of these are better than others. Green with Envy is the perfect Tiffany blue, for example. But I don't see as many people wearing that color anymore. It was more of a spring color.

They have a new selection of purple colors, but I felt like I should try some of the ones I already bought but never  wore first.

I have had this gray color for a while. It's number 390. I've tried to wear it three times but it was either too transparent or It took forever to dry, got smudged, and I had to remove it. So, I never actually got to wear it in public.

I like the idea of gray polish, so I am trying again today, this time with no basecoat or topcoat just two thin layers.

Here is what it looks like:

I was wondering how long you should really wait until your nails are dry so I looked it up on Google. It said you had to wait two hours! So I'm going to do my best not to mess it up until then. So far it's been 15 minutes.

It's been two and a half hours and my nails still look pretty good. Check it out:

So far there are no chips even though I walked my dog and went to a car show. The one weird thing about this color is that I kind of feel like it is what you would wear for a zombie Halloween costume, but I'm still going to wear it to work tomorrow.

Jedidiah Atkinson For the Win!

The segment on last night's SNL Weekend Update (November  16, 2013) featuring Gettysburg Address speech reviewer Jedidiah Atkinson (Terran Killam) was the funniest thing I have seen in a while. It was definitely the best thing so far this season.

You can see it on SNL's website.

Project Runway Season 12 Episode 9 Live Blog

It's the Bell challenge. Here we go!

"Helen's gown is like the 60s threw up." - Alexander

So the designers must create a day or night look For the modern southern woman. They get to start out by having brunch, but soon Tim arrives and they head off to Mood.

Bradon Is worried because he and Alexander both got plaid fabric. He doesn't want another Miranda plaid pants fiasco.

Several of the designers got silk prints.

COMMERCIAL #1

Helen is making a sunflower yellow dress with lace. She asks, "what southern woman wouldn't want" this dress. It does not look good.

Alexandria also has a plaid fabric but it does not look good either.

Tim's tie looks like Braden's print.

Tim comes in to see how everyone's doing. Some people are doing well and others (like Alexandria) need a lot of help. She has this Bohemian thing going on. It's not exactly the modern southern woman.

COMMERCIAL #2

Is it me or does this episode seem to be going really fast?

Ken takes a moment to talk to his mom about his anger issues, etc. is this supposed to make us think he is getting auf'd tonight? Based on the dresses so far, I would say it should be Helen leaving, but then she has won three times, so the judges must know something I don't.

Everyone is talking about how much work they still have to do in the morning.

Wait, did the third commercial break already happen?

It's makeup and hair time everyone rushes to the runway.

COMMERCIAL #3/4?

The celebrity guest judge is Stacy Keibler. Also, I forgot to mention that the winning design will be sold on Belk.com.

Runway Time!

First up is Ken. As a modern southern man, he figures he's a lock:

Helen's hippy sunflower frock is next. Heidi doesn't look impressed.

Justin's is a little too simple:

I like Alexander's look, but it doesn't look very southern:

Alexandria's is see through and awkward:

Bradon's look. A lot of them look the same.

Dom's model actually looks southern to me, but I do not like this dress:

Jeremy's model looks like the modern southern grandmother of the bride:

Kate's print is a little too bold. I can't get a good picture, but the big bright print, the length, and the volume of the skirt make it look very much like a doll dress. The styling is good, though. Very southern.

The three safe designers are Alexandria (really?), Justin, and Helen. Helen is pissed that she is not in the top.

COMMERCIAL #?

The three top designers are Bradon, Kate (but Heidi thought the model looked pregnant), and Alexander.

The bottom three are Jeremy, Ken (who gives Heidi a mean look, she calls him on it, and he says literally nothing), and Dom. Weird that Dom and Ken, who are from the South, are both in the bottom.

Look, we all saw in the preview that Heidi sends at least some of the designers back to the workroom for the "first time in PR history," so is it just going to be for the bottom three or what? Well, yes.

COMMERCIAL 

So the winner is Bradon. Let's all go to Belk.com (but I do not look good in a shirt dress, so no thanks).

Jeremy, Ken, and Dom are sent back to the workroom and given one hour, a fellow designer to help, and access to any fabric in the workroom! Fun! Start over with Helen's yellow fabric if you can!

Ken is changing his original dress by making it shorter, while Dom and Jeremy completely start over. Does this bode ill for Ken?

The new dresses are...

KEN

DOM

JEREMY

Heidi loves Dom's dress and says if she saw it in a Belk store, she would buy it. Posen says she would have won if she showed this dress first. Can they make Bradon's AND Dom's?

So who will get kicked off?

COMMERCIAL 

They're going to sell Dom's dress, too!! Yay! Does that count as another win for Helen (since she was Dom's assistant)?

Jeremy is out (I would have auf'd Ken for his attitude).

Next week's show looks so cute! They are designing for eight super fans of the show! Why wasn't I invited??

Project Runway Live Blog

I'm under the weather today, so I'm just going to enjoy this week's PR and not do a live blog. Sorry. I will say, though, that this happened:

Project Runway Season 12 Episode 7 "Live" Blog

Sorry this is a day late - I had to work last night. So, I'm going to watch the episode and pause at the commercials to make comments. Tonight's episode is about shoes, so here we go!

"Size 12, please." - Alexander

Heidi's shoes are amazing.

The gang heads to the Marie Claire fashion closet to meet with Tim and the E-I-C of MC. 

They must design a look based on shoes (their models will wear the shoes) but they have to pass a fashion quiz to decide who gets to pick which shoes in what order. Alexandria get to go first because she has immunity or something. She picks these ugly gladiator boots:

Ken answers the first quiz question and basically picks the non-boot version of the same black strappy shoes Alexandria just picked.

Jeremy picks some tall black boots. So far no cute shoes!

Karen picks some cute yellow shoes that match her sweater!

Black ankle boots for Helen. Yawn.

Crazy orange Kate shoes:

Alexander choose some nude peep toe wedges. Justin's Andy Warhol looking heels are very busy. Bradon gets some sparkly gold flats. Dom and Miranda are not good at this quiz. They even get the question, "who coined the term Little Black Dress" wrong - didn't they see Coco Avant Chanel? Dom takes a risk and picks these:

So Miranda gets some ugly/boring patent red flats. I love red shoes, but would never wear those!

The designers sketch in the closet and then head to Mood. It looks like Miranda and Alexander are both planning to do plaid pants.

OMG cute!! Tim helps Swatch find his ball! Swatch licks Tim's ear! Cute!!!

I'll say this about the plaid - Alexander has a better pattern on his.

COMMERCIAL #1

The "boiling" treatment/draping Bradon is doing looks good so far.

TIM TIME!

Karen calls Alexandria's look " weak sauce." Ha! 

Tim is worried Justin's fabrics might be too matchy and I think Dom has the same issue. Bradon's fabric clashes TOO much.

Miranda is basically blaming Tim for the times she has been in the bottom. She stinks.

COMMERCIAL #2

Tim says the judges will either love or hate Dom's look.

Karen's look is SUPER matchy-matchy.

Helen is a mess as usual. Tim thinks it could go Kate-Middleton's-mother-in-law (Tim, that's the queen!).

The models come in for a fitting.

"Showdown of the plaid pants."

Wait - does Ken have a bow tie tattoo?

Bradon calls Josh and on the screen it says his "partner" instead it should say "fiancée" guys! He misses his dog.

COMMERCIAL #3

The morning of the runway show. Dom is wearing a cute tee with a D on it. I want one like that!

Bradon's skirt and Jeremy's sweater = ugly. It'll be interesting to see what the judges think.

Miranda's model has Amy Winehouse hair. Not good.

COMMERCIAL #4

The guest judge is the Kaley Cuoco (spelling?) from The Big Bang Theory.

Runway time. First up is Ken's basic black short peplum dress. He's probably safe.

Alexander's top is interesting:

The shoes are perfect for his look. He could win!!

Here's Miranda's mess:

Wouldn't it be crazy if Alexander won and Miranda was auf'd both with plaid pants?

Dom's dress looks A LOT like her shoes. Not sure if that's good or bad, but I personally don't like the dress.

Justin's look is sexy and all black. It looks like he took Tim's advice and ditched the matchy blue fabric.

Alexandria's look, to me, is not anything special, but she has immunity anyway.

Karen made a big ugly jacket:

Bradon's look is just so bad. Please don't kick him off and keep Miranda, judges!

Kate has a black and white outfit with orange shoes. It's sort of ho hum.

Jeremy is lucky Bradon's look is so bad.

Helen made a black dress with a cape. So she's safe?

Kate, Karen, Dom, Justin, and Alexander are safe. Alexander was robbed!

I bet Jeremy thinks he is in the top!

COMMERCIAL #5

The top three are Alexandria, Ken, and Helen - all black looks.

The bottom three are Bradon, Miranda, and Jeremy.

COMMERCIAL #6

Helen wins. But she sucks! At least we're getting rid of Miranda. Right?

Right.

See you next week!

Project Runway Season 12 Episode 6 Live Blog

This week, the designers go glamping and Tim cries! Let's find out why.

"I haven't been camping since I was a little girl." - Alexander (love him!)

Ken thinks he is Jesus. I don't think he is going to have fun camping.

Nobody loves camping, so everyone but Ken is lying.

The spring water sponsor is taking everyone back to nature and the designers must create fashion inspired by nature (not something you would wear camping). They will zip line and go rafting, stay the night in tents, then go to Mood the next day.

Ken says, " So we don't have to be, like, inspired by nature really, do we?" Yes! That's the entire challenge!

Jeremy says that out of the studio they are all nice people that get on together.

KEN

Justin teaches everyone a little sign language, but then we go back to Ken. This is like the Ken show starring Ken. Jeremy is going to use a love letter in his design.

"I like glamping. It's my favorite thing to do now," says Alexander.

COMMERCIAL #1

30 minutes at Mood and Dom is looking for a print she likes.

(I just followed Alexander on Twitter, but he probably posts east coast spoilers).

Ken gets some ugly green wool.

Karen was inspired by the white tents and I think she is going to make the pregnant looking dress from the preview.

Swatch!

Justin tells Tim he wants to make his own lace out of glue or something while Bradon runs around with a bunch of colored chiffon.

So cute!

Back in the studio the designers get to work. Ken calls Alexandria a tiger or something. Bradon is doing some crazy (and loud) embroidery. Jeremy writes his love letter on the fabric. Ken and Justin are both inspired by water. Alexander is doing a full-length fitted gown with a train. Alexandria second-guesses her long johns idea. I wonder why?

TIM TIME

Boo to Karen's boring look. Justin's glue lace is amazing. Alexander's black and blue gown needs some work. Bradon's embroidery looks like a kid's drawing.

COMMERCIAL # 2

Alexandria is doing a denim jacket with drop crotch pants (yuck). Tim is pretty excited overall.

The models come in for their fittings and I'm worried about Karen and Bradon's looks.

Ken and Justin are friends and Helen thinks her "sea moth in the sink" skirt kind of looks like a vagina.

Alexander finds the cackling of Karen, Helen, and Dom annoying.

Alexandria has no friends.

Alexander is hand-painting and cutting leather.

Karen is dying her nightgown.

COMMERCIAL #3

Tim looks cute!

It's runway day. Bradon doesn't have a lot. Kate has the pregnant dress!

Alexander helps Bradon with his staticky dress.

COMMERCIAL #4

The show begins. First up is Helen's dead moth vagina. Not crazy about the twigs in her hair.

Nina is not impressed?

Bradon made his gown this morning... And it looks like it.

I like Miranda's dress, but I don't think she should/will win. Maybe it's too on-the-nose?

Ken is worried that his dress is too simple, but he should be worried that it's too ugly.

Alexandria's look is too bunched up looking to me. Poor construction.

Alexander's twig gown is maybe a little boring, but he thinks he is going to win.

Justin's look is kind of a mess:

Dom's look is great, but I don't see her water inspiration.

Karen's nightgown is kind of a disaster. Heidi looks confused. Also, the yellow color she dyed it makes it look like someone wet the bed and then wrapped peed on sheets around herself, securing them with a belt.

Sorry my pictures are so blurry this week!

Kate's pregnant harness dress is a miss and Jeremy's love letter dress is not very interesting to me.

Dom, Bradon, Kate, Helen, and Miranda are safe. Does this mean Alexander is in the top? I hope so!

COMMERCIAL #5

The bottom three are Karen, Ken, and Justin. Is Justin going to get kicked off for taking a risk?? This could be why Tim cries! Maybe he uses his save.

B-O-R-I-N-G

The top three are Jeremy, Alexander (Posen was not so much of a fan), and Alexandria.

COMMERCIAL #6

And the winner is Alexandria's drop crotch and denim jacket. Sorry Alexander!

Ken is safe... and the auf'd designer this week is Justin! Or IS IT??

Tim comes into the workroom. Everyone is crying, especially Karen because she actually deserves to be out. Everyone is hugging Justin and is inspired and everything. Tim is crying. Tim! He's shaking. He saves Justin!! Yay!

So no one is out.

Next week is about shoes! I'll see you then.

Project Runway Season 12 Episode 5 "Live" Blog

I just got back from vacation, so this week's "live" blog will feature me watching the recorded episode on Saturday morning.

"I need a gun." - Ken

The designers begin by talking about Sandro's departure.

This week they are meeting Tim in the Meatpacking District (that's where I stayed on my last trip to New York). They are doing a car challenge in teams of three. The teams are:

Sue, Alexandria, and Ken. Ken is so much shorter than those two Amazons! Alexander says he is very happy to not be on that team.

Kate, Jeremy, and Karen are the next team, followed by:

Justin, Dom, and Helen and:

Alexander, Bradon, and Miranda. I do not like Miranda at all, but I am so excited to see Alexander and Brsdon working together! I predict that they will win unless Miranda starts crying and messing everything up.

The teams must create a three-look collection, one look per designer. It may be inspired by the car, but doesn't have to be. Each team must choose their own winner and two stores ( out of three) to choose their materials from: a vintage wallpaper store, a specialty foods store, and a home goods/party store. They have one day.

The teams get in their cars to travel to the stores. Team Jeremy is doing a retro meets modern theme inspired by The Great Gatsby which is so weird because that is the EXACT same theme I am currently using at work - maybe it's not as original as I thought, or maybe I will get some ideas from this episode!

Team Alexander decides to work with white.

Team Ken has no idea. Something about luxury? In the car (and elsewhere) Ken is really acting like a baby. Alexandria is trying to make the best of it but Ken says he's "living a nightmare."

Team Dom stops at the wallpaper shop first. They are looking for something red because their car is red. However, since all the wallpaper is faded, there is no true red.

Sue is grabbing a black shower curtain. Yikes. She says something about metallics, but it is just black fabric, Sue! I mean, come on! Now she's getting black drapery! Ken says, "I need a gun."

Bradon finds white woven blinds.

Dom's team is getting dried fruit.

Alexander's team is looking for white wallpaper.

Ken is super unhappy at the wallpaper store and I'm surprised to see that his teammates have found what looks like some red wallpaper to use as trim.

Back at Parsons, Sue hopes her team won't have conflict. Yeah, good luck.

COMMERCIAL #1

Miranda is quilting some wallpaper with muslin on the back. Seems like a good idea, I guess.

Everyone is hard at work when Tim comes in... with Sandro! What a shock (well, if they hadn't teased it before the commercial). He's back to apologize and say goodbye and kind of take a little dig at Helen and Ken. He says he is a misunderstood emotional Russian. He gets/gives some hugs and Helen says, "I'm glad that he's gone."

TIM TIME

Tim loves the work of team white.

Kate explains her "futuristic" idea but Tim calls it a bit crafty, which is NOT the point of the unconventional challenge. He doesn't want them to just use $200 of placemats.

Team Justin only spent $600. Helen's look is bad and they didn't buy enough material to change it.

Tim says Ken looks "pensive" and Ken says something about vomiting information. They are also using placemats. On seeing Sur's black curtains Tim says, "This makes me sick." Tim to Sue: "Have you ever SEEN Project Runway?"

COMMERCIAL #2

Tim is still tearing Sue a new one. He yells at Ken for smirking, too. Ken says this is the best that Sue can do (that's what everyone is thinking, according to Dom). So, Sue starts over.

Team Dom decides to crumple their wallpaper up.

The models come in. Ken asks Kate for advice about team eliminations. She tells him that the one with the worst look will go home. Has HE ever seen Project Runway?

Jeremy is putting glue and glitter on something that looks like a leg cast.

Ken says he is done talking. I wish!!

It's midnight.

COMMERCIAL #3

It's the morning of runway. Ken is complaining about Sue, then he puts a bunch of duct tape on the butt of his dress.

Sue is hand-sewing her entire garment for some reason. Her dress is not complete and it's time to go. Her model has to leave the room undressed and its totally unprecedented. Tim has to tell them to take their hands off the dress. I've watched every season of this show and I've never seen this. What will it look like on the runway?

Time for the runway show and first up is team Alexander's whit group. He has pants and a top with a crazy big collar/scarf thing. Miranda's short dress is pretty ho-hum. Bradon's gown has an interesting fabric on the skirt. It's ver bridal. The collection is very cohesive.

TEAM WHITE

Next up is team crumpled wallpaper: Dom, Justin, and Helen. Justin's ugly pants are only outdone by his ugly boring top which Helen dubs "goji berry overdose." Dom's paper dress is cute enough. Helen's puffy dress is so-so, but it fits better with Dom's look than Justin's does. She is probably safe this week AGAIN even though she is giving Sue a run for her money in the worst designer contest. 

GOJI BERRIES

Team Duct Tape Butt is up next. Sue calls her look a disaster and takes a furtive glance at the judges. When did she have time to put that black net thing on it? That wasn't there when they left the workroom, was it? Ken's look makes his model seem thick-waisted. The good/bad news is that is does look cohesive with Sue's garment! Alexandria's model looks cute but you can HEAR the garment on the runway! Every time she moves, her thick plastic skirt makes a loud crunching sound! Ha ha! 

SUE, KEN, & ALEXANDRIA

Jeremy loves his glittery body cast. He thinks he will win. I think Karen's patchwork dress is ugly, but at least you can tell she put a lot of time and work into it. Kate's black dress is very Kate and has a high slit (on a short dress) that is vulgar. Is the metallic cuff from th accessory wall or did she make it? It's the only futuristic looking thing in the collection to me. Posen is smiling.

TEAM FUTURE?

I'm surprised by how two teams basically ended up using white and two used black. This wasn't a black & white challenge people!

To my surprise, Heidi says the judges were "blown away" by the looks this week. Wait until they hear what Tim has to say!

COMMERCIAL #4 - maybe next week I'll try using my iPad to check out the interactive features, but honestly it doesn't seem to be adding much to the show to me. Maybe I keep looking away to type too much to notice it?

Jeremy Karen and Kate are the winning team. Bradon's team was a close second.

The losing team is Alexandria, Ken, and Sue. Yeah.

Heidi thought Kate designed Jeremy's white dress. 

The guest judge has weird Minnie Mouse hair.

Sue's group is speaking so quietly that Heidi has to ask them to speak up twice. They have very little to say. Will they cave and start complaining and blaming each other? Nina says Ken's dress looks like it is wrapped in duct tape. The guest judge accuses them of trying to bring " disco to the daytime." Heidi asks who doesn't know how to sew (Sue) and I have to go let my dog out. Be right back!

The group complaining begins. Nina stops them from focusing just on Sue - it all looks bad. Heidi can't believe that Sue can't sew, Nina thinks none of them can sew, Posen says maybe they should all go home. At least Sue's dress has an interesting cutout according to Nina. I have to agree that based on the garments alone, I would probably kick off Ken. He basically calls Sue out though and says her model basically finished the look after they left the workroom. Ken is such a snake. So who should go home? Ken says Sue. Alexandria says it's hard, but working with Ken is like "walking on glass." He cuts her off ("I'm speaking!") to say he is not hard to work with (proving that he IS in fact hard to work with). The two women look so scared, Sue has to timidly raise her hand to ask if she can say something! This whole time Kate's team is still standing there on the runway, by the way. The designers leave the runway.

It's tense in the workroom. Ken is furious with Alexandria and again tells her that he is speaking and AGAIN claims he is not going to speak any more.

Tim tells the judges about how he almost lost it. Sue's poor model sheepishly admits she sewed and shows the judges where - if she hasn't her whole chest would have been exposed! I don't see how they can't choose Sue as the winner, but could they maybe kick off Ken as well? Tim should get to kick one designer off as well as or instead of saving one!

Alexandria is really safe, and Tim defends her, too.

They love Jeremy's team, but I have to say that it doesn't do much for me Gatsby-wise. The guest judge loves to say "Mixed Media." I took Art History 101, too, lady - calm down.

As we go into commercial, Heidi says, "One OR MORE of you will be out." She says it again right after the commercial, too. Hint hint.

COMMERCIAL #5

Jeremy is the winner.

Sue is out, but Ken and Alexandria are still standing on the runway!!!

Bradon is so sweet to Sue in the workroom.

Alexandria is in, so Ken is either out or is going to get a severe talking to. What if he says, "I'm speaking!" to Heidi?! Or to Nina??!!

He's safe. That's it. The biggest shock is the preview for next week - Tim has something important to say and is crying! Poor Tim!! They also go "glamping" which I just did. It sucks.

See you next week!

Project Runway Season 12 Episode 4 Live Blog

This week I'm updating the blog from my phone - so it'll be a little shorter and look different. Also this week Sandro freaks out and walks off apparently. Let's find out if he's gone for good.

"Thank you Top Gunn." - Sandro

So Helen has immunity. I think she is probably the weakest designer, though. It would be very dramatic if someone else was auf'd just because she was safe.

RIP Jeremy's grandmother.

Tim explains the bow tie challenge ironically not actually wearing a very cute bow tie.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson is the guest. It's not a men's wear challenge - they just have to use a bow tie in their look. Someone is going to make something just out of bow ties, right? Like a tie skirt - you know what I mean?

Jeremy is using his grandmother for inspiration.

At Mood, Sue went way over budget ($400 instead of the suggested $200). What's her name... Miranda or whatever says she has always been way under budget. How will this play out later in the season.

Sandro calls Bradon a witch - so cute! Bradon and his boyfriend Josh have been together 18 years but can't get married - but Jeremy is married.

COMMERCIAL #1

Bradon is making a bodice version of a tie skirt.

TIM TIME

Dom is making a pot holder dress. Karen thinks it is fresh and cute, though.

Sue is making two dresses with her $400. She's got a black dress with a tie train - it is not cute or fresh.

Tim likes Miranda's houndstooth jacket but Jeremy thinks its too 101 Dalmations. I think It looks like a boring dress you'd pass up on Modcloth.

Kate is doing an equestrian look. Why not?

Sandro asks Tim if he can call him Top Gunn. He's got a pink dress with purple bow tie boob suspenders. Taste level?

COMMERCIAL #2

Sandro complains about Posen to Tim. He has issues. Tim tells him to be who he is.

Tim advises Bradon against the tie skirt.

Someone should have done menswear. I guess Helen is trying, but her look seems similar to the one that made her cry a couple of weeks ago. After talking to Tim she hates her look and gets upset. Again.

The models show up for a fitting. Miranda is making a polka dot shirt for her look that makes it even more retro. It's getting too costumey.

COMMERCIAL #3

Tim's bow tie on day 2 is cute and all is right with the world.

Why is Bradon making a jacket? He should spend his time on the rest of the look.

Dom is giving her model a bow-shaped hairstyle.

Alexandria wants her model to walk more bitchy.

COMMERCIAL #4

Is every episode this season going to be an hour and a half?

On the runway Miranda is wearing houndstooth. Won't that give away which look is hers?

Dom's look is OK.

Jeremy's use of bow ties is not great. 

Posen is smiling at Bradon's look.

Ken's dress is kind of boring. He hardly used any bow ties at all.

Miranda's look is a bit of a mess. The cropped shirt is poorly constructed.

Helen's look is bad.

Alexander's look has a cute rainbow motif that I think really fits the challenge, but they hardly showed him at all this week, so he's probably just going to be safe.

ALEXANDER

Sandro's look is very Sandro. He thinks he might be a winner, but we already know he isn't, right?

Sue is very happy with her look. When she is kicked off will she be mad at Helen?

Justin's look lacks impact. A black dress. He'll probably wind up in the middle.

Kate's look makes everyone look carefully. 

I like Karen's tie collar, but her look is pretty bland with the navy and white and everything. Red shoes - yawn. Nina makes a face.

Alexandria's look is boring.

Helen is told that she could have been out if she wasn't safe.

Sandro, who is safe, asks the judges for comments. He and Posen have a tense conversation.

Back in the green room Ken calls Sandro out for being disrespectful to the judges. Helen thinks she should be more upset because the judges said maybe she only won last week because of Kate. She starts crying. Ken tells Sandro to shut the f up and Sandro pulls off his mic and walks out of the building like we saw at the beginning of the show. He's out, right? Remember the guy in a past season who left and made some phone call, etc.?

COMMERCIAL #5

The three high scoring designers are Bradon, Dom, and Kate.

Sue, Jeremy, and Miranda are the bottom three.

Tim is so cute helping the models off the runway. He tells the judges that Sandro is missing.

The judges take a closer look and Tim tells them about how Sue spent $400.

COMMERCIAL #6

The winner this week is Bradon and he proposes to Josh! How sweet!! Did Josh say yes??

Miranda is safe because Sandro has eliminated himself. Miranda is crying. Tim is crying about Bradon's proposal! I'm crying! Josh calls Bradon to tell him the news about Prop 8 and Josh proposes and Bradon says yes! Yay!

Next week the designers will be working with unconventional materials (again? At this rate Mood may go out of business!)and working in teams of three. Drama!

Project Runway Season 12 Episode 3 Live Blog

Welcome back! It's time for episode three and it looks like it's going to be the unconventional challenge! Hooray!

"Give lifeboats to the Titanic" - Timothy

The designers are at Coney Island for a team challenge with yogurt. Kate is not happy.

Alexander and Justin are a team, then Kate and (is her name Ellen? Helen? You know, the girl who cried last week?), Jeremy and Ken, Sue and Sandro (there's going to be drama), Braden and Karen, Dom and Alexandria, so Timothy got left with Miranda - remember they are from Wisconsin or something, so she hates him.

So the design teams pass out free frozen yogurt to people and have to ask them for words to describe it. Things like "fluffy," "luxurious," and "raspberry town." THEN they have to go play carnival games because the prizes they win will be the fabrics they use for their garment which is to be inspired by the yogurt words. Does that make sense?

Kate and Crying Girl go for red sombreros. Jeremy is winning these big stuffed ice cream cones. Sandro and Sue are winning these blue blow-up alien plastic doll things (why??). Braden has a big monkey and gives it a little kiss! Timothy and Miranda seem to have a very large whale (it's bigger than Timothy) and a yellow kickball - did they get anything else? Is this sustainable? THEN... they see UNICORNS!! and so Team Wisconsin is happy.

If my dogs tearing apart a little stuffed chew toy is any indication, there is going to be A LOT of fluff on the floor at Parsons!

Karen and Bradon make a cute team, I am going to predict that they will win (so far no one has sketched anything, though).

Kate is doing... guess what? A corset. Again. Sandro thinks Sue's idea is too much like a drag queen costume. Timothy and Miranda's blue and yellow vinyl dress idea looks A) impossible and B) boring even if they do finish it. Alexander wants to use the eye of one of his toys. Sue doesn't even know how to use a sewing machine. Kate already has fluff in her hair. Tim calls the fluff "flotsam and jetsam."

COMMERCIAL #1

Everyone is cutting open stuffed animals. Sandro and Sue are fighting. I'm worried about Alexander and Justin's color blocking - especially the colors (mostly blue with green). In the preview one of the judges said there was a dress that looke like she had seaweed on her butt and I'm afraid it might be this one. I hope Alexander doesn't go home!!

Timothy wants to start over and make pants instead of a dress, but Miranda already patterned everything, so she starts crying over dinner with Sandro (I mean. not as much as Helen cried last week).

TIM TIME!

Tim is supportive of Jeremy's look (including some kind of "big fur jacket" which hasn't been made yet and blue vinyl pants.

Dom's Japanese street wear look gets a pass from Tim as well.

Alexander's look, he admits, is "junior" and Tim suggests that add another piece without making it silly.

Karen and Bradon are doing something no one else in the room is doing - but it has a big green plastic seaweed butt piece!!

Sandro and Sue don't get along, so that worries Tim. Alexander calls Sandro completely unprofessional and out of line (well, not to his face).

COMMERCIAL #2

For Helen and Kate, Tim agrees with Helen that the bodice look should be strapless and does not need the high shoulders Kate wants to add.

Timothy and Miranda have a look that "looks very hospital gowny" according to Tim. When Tim brings up "craft project" or "happy hands at home" that is not a good sign.

The models come in for their fittings.

Timothy's model (no the one he had for the first challenge) is super nice to him and gave him a card.

Kate and Helen are having a "love fest" and are like sorority sisters according to Kate.

Miranda and Sandro are being mean to Timothy and he walks in. Poor Timothy! He looks so sad. At least he is trying! She basically just gave up when they got a bad critique from Tim. She basically says he was only cast on the show to create drama for her. Timothy walks out of the workroom and Miranda doesn't really care.

COMMERCIAL #3

OMG it looks like Timothy is really taking his unicorn and leaving! Sad music. Miranda sucks.

Timothy is sitting in a stairwell and he reads the letter he got from his model, Sophie. It's so sweet! She tells him how lucky she feels to work with him and tells him to keep fighting - so he goes back!! Yay!

Sandro is crying because he wants to be perfect. Tim was wrong - it's not Timothy and Miranda's dress that looks Disney - it's Sandro and Sue's! It looks like a plastic Cinderella costume! (I think I should be Snow White for Halloween...)

The night is over.

It's hair and makeup time and Kate and Helen's red sombrero bodice dress looks pretty cute.

Miranda realizes she should have just talked to Timothy (or something) and Sophie looks cute in the dress from what I could see.

Alexander is worried that he and Justin might be in a little trouble. Jeremy thinks it looks terrible.

Miranda cries a little and tries to appologize the Timothy kinda. He says, "actions speak louder than words." That is a perfectly awesome response! He is totally sticking up for himself and she deserves it.

Karen wants her model's hair to look "like a comet." Pink liner. Strong brows. Micky Mouse ears. Dolly pink.

Miranda is really happy with the look. She and Timothy share a quick hug.

Why is Sandro dressed like a farmer?

COMMERCIAL #4

The guest judge is Kelly Osbourne. The runway show begins.

Bradon & Karen. This is a no. The seaweed sticking out on one side and the fluff on the other are not cute. But I have a feeling this might not be the worst look.

Bradon and Karen

Dom and Alexandria's sweater with a face on it is so cute! The hair is a little much.

Sandro and Sue's look is OK. It doesn't look like a ton of time or design went into it.

Helen and Kate may win. Kelly calls it f---ing brilliant.

Justin worries that his look with Alexander is a bit over done. I guess it's not going to be in the top or bottom.

Jeremy and Ken are going to be in the top! The blue vinyl pants (made out of the same material as Sandro and Sue's ho-hum dress) are amazing!

Jeremy and Ken

Miranda and Timothy are probably in the bottom three. but they may not go home. Timothy thinks they may win!

Bradon and Karen, Ken and Jeremy, and Sandro and Sue are in the middle. I guess I was wrong about Ken and Jeremy being in the top three AND about Alexander and Justin being in the middle!

YUCK! Sandro just said something horribly sexist about how cool it is when a woman listens to a man. Boo!

COMMERCIAL #5 (it looks like Kelly is coming back to Dance Moms next week!)

I see - there are two teams in the top and two in the bottom. The judges want to talk to the top teams first - Kate & Helen, and Alexandria & Dom (they really were both really good).

Heidi wants to wear Dom and Alexandria's sweater. All the judges love it and think it is very fun, creative, and adorable. Nina loves the styling and calls it an "instagram moment."

Dom and Alexandria

I think the hair on Kate and Helen's model is bad, but Heidi seems to like it. Their love fest continues. Nina likes the dramatic red. Kate and Helen's model looks like a blonde Rachel Weiss to me.

Posen calls Alexander and Justin's look sea foam Skipper (or something). Heidi says they need to edit. Nina says, go fun or go glamorous, but they couldn't make up their mind.

Heidi calles Timothy and Miranda's look "so boring." and Posen calls it a deflated pool toy with a life vest. Nina is reminded of a toxic biohazard. The big question is - if they loose, who should go home? Miranda says she is responsible for the design and admits she got a little freaked and that they got into a fight. She didn't need to bring that up in front of the judges. It all comes out, but it sounds like Miranda made most of the dress.

Now the judges will do the (I think) unnecessary part where they look closely at the clothes. Miranda cries some more and yells at Timothy for bringing up the drama in front of the judges (um, she did that).

Timothy has been in the bottom three times in a row and this unconventional challenge should have been HIS challenge, the judges feel, so will they send him home?

COMMERCIAL #6

Helen wins (Kate said that if they won, it should go to Helen) and has immunity. She couldn't have done it without Kate and her corsets, though.

Alexandria and Dom are in and so are Alexander and Justin. So it's down to Timothy and Miranda. I think she should go home.

And it's Timothy. Poor guy! I really liked him in this episode. But he's happy that he learned something. He only regrets not dancing more.

Does Tim have to justify not using his Tim Gunn Save on every show now?

Timothy packs his unicorn and goes, "I won't stop believing in unicorns ever!"

Next time it will be a bow tie challenge with guest Jessie Tyler Ferguson from Modern Family and it looks like Sandro is going to walk out and hit a camera!